Something happened that made me mad, well, furious. Worst feeling ever! As soon as I got mad, the Spirit left me. There are few times in my life that I have felt the Spirit completely leave me, but never on my mission. The anger I was feeling turned into complete frustration and confusion. The only thing I could think to do was to pray. Pray for guidance, peace, comfort, and forgiveness. I have no idea how long I was actually on my knees, but it was for a long, long time. It was one of the most powerful experiences I have had! I was literally crying to the Lord to help me, to show me what I was to do, and bring me back from the lost state I was in.
As I was praying, I realized that the Lord gave me this trial for me to learn and grow. It was an answer to my prayers. You know that common phrase: "be careful what you pray for?" Wow is it true! The last few months I have been praying for charity, to see people the way Jesus Christ would. Heavenly Father must have a sense of humor. Praying for charity, in my mind, did not equate to becoming infuriated, but it is how I needed to learn. It taught me how to view things from another's perspective; how to respect someone else's opinion even when I don't agree. What I really needed was to be humble.After a lot of reflection, I am grateful for my little "break down." It has helped open my mind and heart to the changes I need to make. The Lord answers our prayers. Not always the way expected, but always the way that will help us best.
6 comments:
I always get nervous praying for things like that... i have been feeling the need to pray for charity, but i've been to much of a chicken to actually pray for it... so at our last zone conference thats all i could think of! i need to pray for charity, i'm not sure what will come but i know that the Lord's hand is in it! i'm glad that you were able to recognize what was going on and know that you needed to pray! i'm proud of you! keep up the amazing work you are doing!
Yes, I to have been praying for charity. I hope one of these days I will be able to show my charity. Its funny before zone conference I have been feeling frusterated then the scripture Ether 12:27 came to mind of course after reading the talk The Atonement. The Lord shows us our weakness so that we can become stronger and become more and more like him.
Hey. That reminds me of a hymn called "Did You Think to Pray?" The second verse in particular. Good times... :)
http://lds.org/churchmusic/detailmusicPlayer/index.html?searchlanguage=1&searchcollection=1&searchseqstart=140&searchsubseqstart= &searchseqend=140&searchsubseqend=ZZZ
of course God has a sense of humor... He created me! haha :)
The Lord works in Mysterious ways, thats for sure. At times, we learn our lessons in ways we would rather avoid, but sometimes thats when we learn best! Thanks for sharing that!
Caleb, very good point. You are amazing!
Sister Gorder, Franklin, Gorder, and Elder Menasco- Don't you just love how the Lord helps us missionaries out? Gives us opportunities to see people for their potential. To look past any faults and see them for who they really are, which is children of God.
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