Endings and Beginnings

Right now I am almost at a loss for words.  There's so much going on within my heart and mind that it seems nearly impossible to share even a portion of it.  But, you all know me, I will try my best. 

Memories, ah....good times!

It's here; the end has come.  The eighteen month journey is at it's close.  Over the last few weeks I have found myself laying awake and reflecting upon my mission, my life as a sister missionary.  I see the faces of each person I have met, the people I have loved, the people that have changed me more than I have changed them.  I love them.  I cherish the bonds I have made and the spiritual moments shared.  It's like nothing else I have ever experienced.

Though this chapter in my life is ending, a new one is beginning; my life as Brittany Nestman.

What will life be like at home?  Most likely it will be much like it was before the mission: church, work, school, family, friends, and dating (o.0).  Something I have found myself asking is "what will be different?  What is it that I am taking home from all of this?"  Yes I'm taking home all my memories, cherished thoughts and feelings, but what else?

Avatar: Airbending

This post has been in the making for some time now.  I love the TV show "Avatar: The Last Airbender."  One of the best cartoon shows that has come out in a LONG time.  The show features "bending", which is the ability to manipulate an element.  Each element has it's respective nation in the "Avatar world" and bending art.  The four elemental Bending Arts are based on the four elements: water, earth, fire and air. Each are manipulated through certain martial art styles which resemble that of the element.  (Hope you're following me thus far.)

Today, I would like to talk about airbending.

Airbending is, obviously, the manipulation of air.  It is a unique style of bending.  There's no limitations as to environmental factors (air is everywhere) and they use their own momentum as the weapon.  Airbenders are fast, agile, and able to deflect or negate opponents attacks.  This style is actually more of a defensive style with lots of circular movements.  The Air Nomads set themselves apart from the world, focusing on spirituality and peace.

Though their numbers were always less than that of the other nations, everyone in the Air nation was able to bend because they kept themselves apart from the worldly problems.  Let me repeat the last part again, but amended a tad: they kept themselves apart from the world.

We weren't sent to earth for riches, fame, or honor.  We are here to "...1prepare to meet God: yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors."  Continually we are told to be "in the world, but not of the world."  For me, the Airbenders understood this concept.

They focused on peace and freedom.  What would it be like to have a world of Airbenders? (aside from the bending, which would be pretty sweet!)  For one thing, we would all be that much more spiritual.  The world would be united in seeking the kingdom of God (2).  Obviously we still wouldn't be perfect, but striving to be perfect would be a whole lot easier!

Maybe it's because I have been up in Northern California for a while, but peace and love should be everywhere!  As Uncle Iroh says "protection and power are overrated. I think you are very wise to choose happiness and love."  Find that inner Airbender.  Set yourself apart from the teachings of the world and build up that spirituality!  As you do so, you will find more peace and you will be happier.

Progressive 2.0

I am still learning.  I am not perfect.  There is a TON I have to change within myself.  These are facts that I know.  But, I also know that I am not alone.  We are all still learning.  Ask any one of the missionaries and they will tell you the same thing.  The California Santa Rosa Missionaries are combining in a series of post's about what we have learned while on our missions entitled: "Still in Progress... A Progressive Post."  Seeing as I have previously shared a great deal of what I have learned while in my previous areas, it is indeed time that I share a bit about my Eureka experience thus far.

As you have probably heard from Elder Menasco, Eureka is an amazing place!  Okay, it's phenomenal!  I love it!  Aside from the outer beauty and splendor of this city there is a deeper beauty that has captivated me.  That beauty is found in the love of the people.

Six weeks ago I left Cordelia California, which was hard for me.  I really came to love and adore the people there and everything about Cordelia.  It was hard to leave, but I knew it was what the Lord had in store.  When I got to Eureka, things were a bit chaotic.  My companion and I were both new up here and didn't know our way around at ALL.  Our first night here we realized we were late to a dinner appointment and skedaddled on over there. 

The wonderful member we were eating with directed us all the way to their home via phone.  We didn't even get the chance to knock on their door when we arrived because they were outside waiting for us.  Now, people waiting outside the door with excitement is not the usual response missionaries get.  But there they were, right outside smiling and waving us in.  Believe it or not, this response happened again.  Not just once, twice, or thrice, but four times!  All Hermana Haslam and I could think or say was "WE LOVE EUREKA!"

Hermana Haslam and I were welcomed here with open and loving arms.  We have become one of the family.  All of this within six weeks!  I feel like Jasmine when she sings "Unbelievable sights, indescribable feeling."  The love here can't be explained through words.  The only way my simple mind can describe it is that it's how Christ would love.  Perfectly, wholly, and eternally.

I am so grateful that I have been given this chance to come to Eureka.  The term "ward family" has a whole new meaning to me now.  The members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints really are a family here and are accepting of all.  They are willing to love and embrace anyone.  Boy or girl, young or old, Elder or Sister, member or not.  Christ's love is felt here and emulated in the way He would expect it to be.  Thank you and I love you!

Now, the "Still in Progress... A Progressive Post" is due to continue on Elder McBride's blog on Thursday.  Go check it out!  For In Thee Is My Joy.

Ode to Mothers

One guess as to what this post is going to be about?  If you guessed mothers, you'd be correct (and if you didn't.....check your calender).  Mother, mom, madre, mama, mum; no matter how you say it, they are the ones we know and love.  Somehow they are able to look over all the dumb, insane, annoying, and gross things we do. 

They go through intense and indescribable pain to bring us into the world, then they have a tiny little human to care for.  Changing diapers, feeding, rocking, holding, and doing the basic baby thing.  Okay, from a non-mother point of view, this would get really monotonous.  But, mothers have that connection and will to do whatever it takes to care for a child.

After the baby stage there is the infamous "terrible two's" or toddler stage.  Heavenly Father must have known how horrible kids would be around that age, that's why they look so cute.  My mom had some interesting times with us at this stage.  Some of the things we did to her as toddlers consist of almost getting sued because of a car flying through a store and hitting someone in the head, biting of other children, drawing all over the walls in permanent marker, going to the bathroom in....not the bathroom, the list could go on and on.  I'm just grateful she loved us enough not to sell us.

Teenagers.....don't even get my parents started on that!  What teenager doesn't put their mom through grief and hair pulling anxiety attacks?  It's normal.  I'm still not sure how they make it without killing us, but it's probably the many years put into us prior to being a teenager.  And the fact that they semi-remember what it was like "when they were a kid."

My mom :)

My mom has so much love for us it is incredible!  No matter how much we push her buttons or drive her completely up the walls, she still is able to love us unconditionally.  The kind of love that she has, is charity.

"1...charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever.."

I am still striving to have this kind of love.  My mother, Beth Nestman, exemplifies this in everything she does.  I am so grateful for her and the wonderful opportunity I have to be able to call her on Mothers day and tell her that.  Go tell your mom you love them. 

I love you mom!

Living Waters

It is very clear that my companions think I am insane.  My blog ideas come at the most inopportune times and they usually result in me dashing out of the room, or across the room, to hurry and write them down.  From experience I have learned that unless the idea gets written down, it gets forgotten.  Anyways, this is the "jump out of bed and dash to the living room" idea I had last night.

There is a story, in John, of Christ teaching the woman of Samaria.  The woman comes to Jacob's well where Christ is resting from his journeying to get some water.  Jesus asks her to give him a drink.  The woman replies in a somewhat shocked manner and says "1How is it that thou, being a Jew, askest drink of me, which am a woman of Samaria?  for the Jews have no dealings with the Samaritans."  Christ then tells her how if she knew the gift of God and who was asking her for a drink then she would have asked him for water, and he would have given her of the "living water."  Water that "whosever drinketh....shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life."

After reading this, my mind was called back to a book I read ages ago entitled Tuck Everlasting.  It is a story of a family that has found a spring of water that allowed them to live forever.  In a different sense, following God's will and living the Gospel can do the same, only better!  In 1 Nephi 11, in Lehi's dream, he gives an excellent description of what the "living waters" are.

"And it came to pass that I beheld that the rod of iron, which my father had seen, was the word of God, which led to the fountain of living waters, or to the tree of life; which waters are a representation of the love of God....."

"The love of God,"  how wonderful is that?  By drinking of the living waters, we will have the love of God within us and "springing us up into everlasting life."  Christ can do this for us.  He is there ready for us to ask for a drink.  He will draw the water that allows us to never thirst again.  I hate being thirsty, so never having to thirst again is the greatest thing ever! 

We can live forever with God in Heaven by obeying His word and partaking of the living waters.  His love is the driving factor that each of us need inside.  Don't wait till the last minute to have a drink, "2ask, and ye shall receive..."

He likes me for Me!

When people try and guess my name, it usually doesn't take very long to get it right.  I look exactly like the stereotypical "Brittany."  Blond hair and blue eyes.  Yep, I'm a Brittany.  One of the streets I lived on had 4 of us, all on one street!  It was crazy!  We were also all around the same age (twilight zone music starts now).  To sum this up, I have felt, at times, unimportant and have struggled to feel unique. 

Each of us has to struggle at some point in our lives with who we are.  Develop our own sense of self worth and become our own selves.  The Lord said to the prophet Jeremiah "Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee..."  A simple truth that God knows us.  He knows us personally, individually, perfectly, and eternally.  He is our Father and He cares about us.  There is something special in the parables of the lost sheep when Christ talks of going off in search of the one.

  4 What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?

 5 And when he hath found it, he layeth it on his shoulders, rejoicing

Each one of us is special in the eyes of our Savior.  He is willing to go out in search of us and bring us back into the fold because we are that important to Him.  "1Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God;..."

I matter.  I am a wonderful, beautiful, chosen daughter of God.  I know that each of you is a child of a loving Heavenly Father that wants you to be happy now and forever.  He loves you no matter what!  "Likewise, I say unto you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one... (emphasis added)"  Be happy to be who you are; a child of God.

Changed My Life

"We're not alone."  Such a common saying in movies, daily life, and in our spiritual lives.  Not one of us is ever completely alone.  There are so many people in this world.  Some of them we pass by casually on the street, others are very near and dear to us.  Each person we meet has the ability to change us in one way or another.  In the end, there are some people that completely change our lives and help mold us into who we are or who we are becoming.  In my life, there are a few people like this.

How can I go on?

I would like to share a letter I received.  It cut me to the core when I read it.  There has been some editing for privacy, but I'd like you to visualize how this person feels as you read it.

"I guess I just have a lot on my mind that I need to get out....  There are so many things going through my mind I feel like I am almost going insane.  Literally going insane.  I cannot make my mind just think straight, I want too; I really do, but it just won't.  I wake up every morning and I ask myself, "Is life worth living?  Do I ask for help?" 

You are not Alone

There are moments in life that make you think.  Make you take a step back and wonder what it is that really matters.  Today, I met someone and had one of these moments.  We walked up and the first thing they said was "I don't recognize you, but come on in and let me show you my garden."  It is people like this that just make a missionaries day.  Those with a warm heart and a kind smile.  After seeing the garden and the yard we went inside to talk.  Conversation began with the usual "what's your name, where are you from, how long have you been a missionary" type questions.  Then, we started to learn more about her.  After a little we learned that the past few years had been extremely lonely.  She had been divorced, children had little contact, and she really had no one around.  My heart hurt for her.  Feeling lonely is not how anyone should feel.  

How many people are there out there that feel this way?  That need to feel love in their life?  Need to have someone there that cares?   While reading in Matthew chapter 12 the other day, the last few verses really stuck out.

48But he answered and said unto him that told him, Who is my mother? and who are my brethren?

 49And he stretched forth his hand toward his disciples, and said, Behold my ^amother and my brethren!

 50For whosoever shall do the ^awill of my Father which is in heaven, the same is my ^bbrother, and sister, and mother.

Christ loves everyone perfectly and equally.  No one is placed above another.  He loved the stranger on the street the same as He loved His own mother.  His love is there for every one of us.  You are not alone.  He is there!

This is why I am here.  To help others to learn of His love and be enfolded in it.  It is one of the greatest gifts we could ever have and is given freely to all.  I love my Savior and know that He loves me and each of you.

Wow, did you see her?

Oh Montana, what memories I have of you!  My Grandpa lived up in Libby, Montana towards the end of his life, which is up in the northwest corner of Montana.  Population of about 2,800, not necessarily your thriving metropolis, but it was gorgeous and had that small-town feel I like.  My family and I only made a few trips up there, but each one was worth remembering.  The most memorable was the first time we visited.



My dear old Grampy was Mr. Mountain Man and took us for all sorts of adventures.  We chopped wood for his house, played at the river, went to the swinging bridge (so cool), went to church, and went Libby sightseeing.  It was awesome!  I was really close to my grandfather and loved every minute with him.  There was, however, one very.....interesting experience there.

One night we had dinner with some friends of my grandpa.  It was a campfire dinner on the river bank roasting hot dogs and marshmallows (s'mores, mmmmm.....).  While we were sitting around the campfire we got to talking about where I was going for school.  Told them I was going to BYU-Idaho in the fall and was pretty excited about it.  My grandpa then started to ask one of the daughters in the family about her experience at BYU-Idaho, she had just recently graduated from the college.  The first thing she did was look at me.  Glanced up, then down, then turned for her response.  Boy, did it make me wonder.

It began with my shoes, "couldn't wear those up there."  Then, the jeans, "the jeans, yeah those won't fly."  My shirt, "shirt is probably too bright."  Sweater, "the sweater is just not something you'd wear up there."  And if that wasn't all enough, my hair came next, "hair, probably can't have it cut like that when you go there."  Of course, I had no response for this.  Just nodded my head with a shocked look on my face.  What more could I do?  I had never been torn apart like that before in my life.  Not that I was wearing anything immodest at all.  Let's face it, it was cold and by a river.  I was in pants, warm sweater, tennis shoes, and my hair pulled up in a pony tail.  Appropriate?  Yes.  Clean?  That one may be a no, but who is when by a fire?  She judged me based off my appearance and before getting to know me.  How often do we judge others when we see them?  Look on their outer appearance and not what is inside?

1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the Lord ^aseeth not as ^bman seeth; for man looketh on the outward ^cappearance, but the ^dLord looketh on the ^eheart.

The Lord is the one that does the judging.  It is not for us to judge others.  We too need to put on our "Jesus goggles", as a member in Vacaville called it.  See others for what they really are, sons and daughters of God.  We are all worth something.  You don't know what is in someone's heart based on their appearance.  Judge less, look deeper, and love more.

Christlike Love

John 15:12-13
12This is my commandment, That ye ^alove one another, as I have ^bloved you.

13Greater ^alove hath no man than this, that a man lay down his ^blife for his ^cfriends.

We are commanded, not asked, to love one another.  This man is incredible!  He left his job so that he could serve others.  These people are hungry, homeless, and lonely.  They have nothing.  There are many like this all throughout the world.  We don't have to drop everything like Naryanan does, but we all can drop something to help another.  There is always service to be done.  There is always someone who needs a friend.  Reach out to those in need.  Show the love that our Father in Heaven and Christ have shown to all men.

Different or Amazing?

8 years ago something amazing happened in my life.  Something that has shaped who I am today, taught me many valuable lessons, and changed my entire perspective in life.  That event was the birth of my youngest sister Amanda.  She is a wild little child that loves to run, jump on the trampoline, sing and dance to Miley Cyrus, and play with her older siblings.  Amanda also has Down Syndrome.

For those that don't know, Down Syndrome is a genetic condition in which a person has 47 chromosomes instead of the usual 46.  Those that have it will typically learn a little slower and may have other problems that come with it.  Before Amanda came into my life, I knew nothing.  To be honest, I knew nothing about any disability.  It was all foreign and a little scary to me.  The unknown always is.  But, when my sister was born, a new world opened up before my eyes. 

People with disabilities are no different then those without. When I was a senior in high school I had the wonderful opportunity to participate in a special needs youth group.  We all had a "buddy" and would go each week to hear a lesson then participate in some sort of activity.  My buddy taught me more then I ever would have dreamed!  Not only could she show me up on the dance floor, but she had a rock solid testimony.  She knew she was "different", but it didn't matter to her.  She is a chosen daughter of the most high.  No matter what someone said or how they may look at her, she was a daughter of God! 

There is a song by Carol Lynn Pearson that literally brought me to tears the first time I sung it with the special needs group.  It is called "I'll Walk With You".

If you don’t walk as most people do,
Some people walk away from you,
But I won’t! I won’t!
If you don’t talk as most people do,
Some people talk and laugh at you,
But I won’t! I won’t!
I’ll walk with you. I’ll talk with you.
That’s how I’ll show my love for you.
Jesus walked away from none.
He gave his love to everyone.
So I will! I will!
Jesus blessed all he could see,
Then turned and said, “Come, follow me.”
And I will! I will!
I will! I will!
I’ll walk with you. I’ll talk with you.
That’s how I’ll show my love for you.

Christ loves everyone.  He is the perfect example of how to love.  The first time I saw someone look at my sister funny, my hackles flew!  My thought was "how dare they!"  After taking a step back, I realized that I had done the same thing once before.  It took me having my dear sister to really see that everyone is the same.  We are all sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father.  He is not a respecter of persons.  He loves each of us individually and infinitely. 

I love my sister.  She is the world to me.  She may not learn as fast as other children, may not be able to talk yet, may not even be potty trained yet, but she is perfect!  Amanda loves everyone the way Christ does.  There is no discrimination.  A goal I have set for myself is to see everyone the way my sister does.  Treat them the way Christ would if he were around.  "Jesus walked away from none.  He gave his love to everyone.  So I will!"  I will! Will you? 

Family

"Because families are ordained of God, they are the most important social unit in time and in eternity" (PMG p.32).  Each of us is given an incredible gift in this life, family.  When I first hear the word "family", I think of my immediate family: mom, dad, brothers, and sisters.  After thinking more about it, everyone in this world is a part of my family.  We are all sons and daughters of a loving Heavenly Father.  He knows each of us individually.  He knows our strengths, weaknesses, thoughts, desires, and our potential.  As we view everyone as a beloved son or daughter of God, a brother or sister, we will have a greater love for them.  Each person on this earth has divine potential.  How much better would this world be if we could all see each other as children of god with endless potential?  I love my family dearly.  They mean everything to me.  I know that if I can have that same love for everyone, I will be that much closer to becoming like our Savior.